Paul Wehling with Beth and brothers Rob (left) and Jon (right). |
I’ve been trying to figure out how to start this. I’m still not sure I know how, but I’ve found that when you’re not sure how to start something, it’s not the HOW you start that matters...it’s that you start. Sounds like something my dad would have said. In fact, he probably DID say something similar at one point or another.
I didn’t expect this to be so difficult to write. We were trying to decide when to launch the Buzzing Love Bracelet Campaign and the timing worked out perfectly to coincide with my father’s birthday. Although Buzzing Love was born out of the bond between Jaime and her dad, several years prior to the tragedy that resulted in her dad’s death, my own father passed away quite suddenly. Jaime has been extremely gracious in allowing me to take a few moments to recognize my own dad and why the Bracelet Campaign echos the life he led.
I’m going to be upfront and honest...I truly just can’t do him justice. I so badly want the words to be perfect and I’m just not that good…and I feel I’m being pulled in so many directions with life in general that I just don’t have the clarity to find the right words. If he were here, he would probably have exactly the right words to say. He always had the right words. But he’s not here and the truth is, I’m still not completely over that. I’m guessing I never will be. The tricky part is I’ve made it to where his being gone is not a thought that’s ever-present. Rather, it only hits me on the occasion I am called to feel his absence and then it feels like being hit with a ton of bricks. I’m caught off guard and my emotions don’t know quite how to handle it. But I’m going to try.
My father, Paul Wehling, was not “in it to win it.” He was “in it” for everyone else. Period. I know in obituaries and tributes and whatnot, people are often spoken of as kind and thoughtful and the first to help out a friend. And, in most cases, it’s probably true. But, I also know it can be a go-to when people are coming up with those things. In my dad’s case, it was absolutely true. He ALWAYS thought of everyone else before himself. I could list off all the ways he helped people, but I think it’s almost more effective to say that the only time I ever saw him doing anything for himself was occasionally reading or playing guitar.
I didn’t expect this to be so difficult to write. We were trying to decide when to launch the Buzzing Love Bracelet Campaign and the timing worked out perfectly to coincide with my father’s birthday. Although Buzzing Love was born out of the bond between Jaime and her dad, several years prior to the tragedy that resulted in her dad’s death, my own father passed away quite suddenly. Jaime has been extremely gracious in allowing me to take a few moments to recognize my own dad and why the Bracelet Campaign echos the life he led.
I’m going to be upfront and honest...I truly just can’t do him justice. I so badly want the words to be perfect and I’m just not that good…and I feel I’m being pulled in so many directions with life in general that I just don’t have the clarity to find the right words. If he were here, he would probably have exactly the right words to say. He always had the right words. But he’s not here and the truth is, I’m still not completely over that. I’m guessing I never will be. The tricky part is I’ve made it to where his being gone is not a thought that’s ever-present. Rather, it only hits me on the occasion I am called to feel his absence and then it feels like being hit with a ton of bricks. I’m caught off guard and my emotions don’t know quite how to handle it. But I’m going to try.
My father, Paul Wehling, was not “in it to win it.” He was “in it” for everyone else. Period. I know in obituaries and tributes and whatnot, people are often spoken of as kind and thoughtful and the first to help out a friend. And, in most cases, it’s probably true. But, I also know it can be a go-to when people are coming up with those things. In my dad’s case, it was absolutely true. He ALWAYS thought of everyone else before himself. I could list off all the ways he helped people, but I think it’s almost more effective to say that the only time I ever saw him doing anything for himself was occasionally reading or playing guitar.
Good gravy, could he play and could he ever sing. I went to bed to “Here Comes the Sun” almost every night as a kid. But here’s the thing about my dad and his music...you didn’t hear him playing much by himself. Some...I do remember him pulling out the guitar on his own growing up, but it was mostly to play for my mom or my brothers and me. Mostly, he loved the music because of how it brought people together. He had some regular friends he played with. You could feel the joy coming off him when he was playing with others. But it wasn’t the playing itself that brought the joy, I don’t think...it was the community he was a part of because of it.
Service and community. And music. And so many more things, but that’s how I feel his memory.
And it is this memory I felt when we were dreaming up the Buzzing Love Bracelet Campaign. The idea of honoring those in our lives who are doing ordinary things with extraordinary impact is the most perfect way to honor my dad’s memory. And the memory of Jaime’s dad. And all the people out there who lived lives that were “normal,” but also precious and invaluable to those around them.
Buzzing Love is near and dear to my heart. Not only is it my dearest friend’s personal endeavor, it’s become my own anthem as well. Both my parents taught me to help others whenever possible and I am encouraging my own daughters to do the same. Please join us in taking a moment to honor someone in YOUR life who has, in some small way, made a big impact. We hope you’ll also put YOUR love into your corner of the world through random or not-so-random acts of kindness. Share love, share smiles, share hope.
Buzz on, my friends, buzz on!
Beth
Service and community. And music. And so many more things, but that’s how I feel his memory.
And it is this memory I felt when we were dreaming up the Buzzing Love Bracelet Campaign. The idea of honoring those in our lives who are doing ordinary things with extraordinary impact is the most perfect way to honor my dad’s memory. And the memory of Jaime’s dad. And all the people out there who lived lives that were “normal,” but also precious and invaluable to those around them.
Buzzing Love is near and dear to my heart. Not only is it my dearest friend’s personal endeavor, it’s become my own anthem as well. Both my parents taught me to help others whenever possible and I am encouraging my own daughters to do the same. Please join us in taking a moment to honor someone in YOUR life who has, in some small way, made a big impact. We hope you’ll also put YOUR love into your corner of the world through random or not-so-random acts of kindness. Share love, share smiles, share hope.
Buzz on, my friends, buzz on!
Beth
Join the Buzzing Love movement! To participate in our Bracelet Campaign, click HERE! Once you receive your two Buzz Bands, please keep one for yourself and
then share one with someone else! It could be someone you know or
someone you don’t – anyone who needs a smile! Give one to someone who
has made a big difference in your life. Leave one somewhere for someone
else to find. Practice a random act of kindness, then give the recipient
a Buzzing Love bracelet. We can’t wait to see what you do with your
Buzzing Love!
Please share all of this love – your acts of kindness and what you do with your bracelets – on social media using the hashtag #buzzinglove on our Facebook @BuzzingLove or on Instagram @buzzing_love. Or if you’d like to remain anonymous, you can send us a Facebook message or email us at buzzinglove@buzzinglove.org!
Thank you for catching the buzz and spreading the love, and being part of the Buzzing Love movement!
Please share all of this love – your acts of kindness and what you do with your bracelets – on social media using the hashtag #buzzinglove on our Facebook @BuzzingLove or on Instagram @buzzing_love. Or if you’d like to remain anonymous, you can send us a Facebook message or email us at buzzinglove@buzzinglove.org!
Thank you for catching the buzz and spreading the love, and being part of the Buzzing Love movement!
💜
Thank-you, Beth. Your dad was a special music friend to me. And we grew up together. You are so right that he was an amazingly selfless, kind, and generous person. You totally lucked out being born to your wonderful parents. We miss Paul and we continue to treasure Karen and all of you. It was sooooo great to see you last September when you surprised your wonderful mom! Hope to see you in StL again soon.
ReplyDeleteLove, Dee
Thank you for this beautiful tribute. Going to have my husband break out the guitar tonight. We don’t do it enough, but those are powerful memories.
ReplyDelete